Independent

My husband left Sunday for a week long trip to Georgia. He has been gone overnight, but never a week. I found myself teary eyed when he left. My family and friends all say how much of a "strong" woman I am. I did not know how dependant on my husband I was until he left. Mom was right you don't miss your water until your well runs dry. I am ok with managing the house and getting the boys ready for school. The problem I have is the fact that my security is gone. I could fall asleep with my husband home in a heartbeat. I am so restless now. I hear every crack and squeak. I thought Bruno would be help. I was wrong. I guess he views me the same way I view my husband.

I needed a short term fix to my problem. I called my niece, who goes to college locally and still lives at home. I asked her to come spend a week with us. To my surprise she said yes. I still do not have the security I would if my husband were here, but I feel better with another adult-like person in the house.

I began my blog for English 2 talking about my dog Bruno. I guess it only right to end the tem with Bruno. My mother-n-law bought Bruno a toy. This toy reminds you of the little squirrel on Sponge Bob Square pants, Sandy. This toy is the deflated version. It has a little squeaker in the head and one in the tail. I just knew he would hate it. He already has a favorite toy. It’s a plastic squeaker bone. I was wrong. He loves this darn squirrel. He sleeps with it, plays with it and even takes it to his dog bowl to eat.
The way I found out this is his new “favorite” toy, was when he went ballistic in his cage. My husband and I thought he had to go potty. Once again wrong. When I opened the door to the cage, Bruno sprinted for the toy. He grabbed it, and this next part had me astounded. Bruno ran back in the cage. Normally it is a big deal putting Bruno in the cage. Not this time, Bruno went back in the cage by himself. The squirrel and Bruno slept all night long. Bruno has really devoted a lot of time to this toy. It has been about two weeks now and the two are still inseparable. I am very happy Bruno has found something to make him as happy as he makes me.

Football

I am writing about football, because I simply do not understand it. My son turned six on 8/30/10. Levi loves football. I live in a house full of males, even the dog watches football! I have tried and tried to get interested and cannot seem to keep focused. I have no clue what is going on. My husband travels a lot for his job, so I was tasked with the responsibility of planning a football party. Why me? My kids tell me all the time that it is simple…they don’t understand. Planning the party was not so bad. I mean all I had to do was buy stuff with football logos right. The problem I am having with this whole football thing is the fact that now my 6 year old wants to play football. That disturbs me. I watch them play in my back yard, and there is no way I can allow him to play against other kids. I am not a big fan of contact sports. Their dad says it is because I am a softy, and that is where my inspiration to be a nurse comes from. That may be true, however I still do understand foot ball. I feel fear comes from not knowing. The way I plan to educate myself is to learn the game. I must sit through excruciating hours of FOOTBALL!

Watching the game and learning it will help me accept the fact that there are rules in place that protect my children, especially my baby. I may be overreacting, but I am me. And since I cannot change me, I will embrace my fear and move forward they best way I know how… by educating myself. 

The Loss of a Loved One

Losing a person you care about can be a very tragic ordeal. I have lost both my parents. You never get over it, just through it. I have learned that life is not always fair. August 31, 2010 marks the 31st year of marriage for my parents. I talk about them often in the present because I feel they are still with me in spirit. I am still quite young and did not expect my parents to pass away so soon. I have also learned to expect the unexpected. My siblings call me the strong one. Strength is measured in many different ways. I can perform well under stress, especially if that stress is dealing with a loved one. I asked my mom for some of her strength before she passed away. I think she gave me some (smile). I mentioned in a previous post that my dog Bruno comforts me. He gives me strength. When dealing with death it is easy to fall into a place where you feel no one understands. It may seem that sometimes those closest to you do not care. I have found that reading and allowing myself time to cry helps me deal with the stress of loss.
I have two children who are young, however they are old enough to know loss. The loss they experience may not be at the magnitude of an adult, but who am I to measure. It hurts the worse when they ask about them. I find it hard sometimes to answer them because I am still trying to find answers myself. I feel writing in this blog also helps. I have learned to take life one day at a time and to appreciate the things I cannot replace.